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Identity Theft?

Picture it... I'm standing in the bedroom naked (calm yourself, ladies... yes, ok and the guys too) and there's a knock on the door. To make matters even more awkward in terms of answering the door I also had a mouthful of food (look, don't ask, this is just how it happened, kay?).

Fling dressing gown around self, grab keys and attempt to masticate a bit quicker.

(Yes, I do know masticate sounds a bit like masturbate. Funny that)

Fumble with keys, find that I didn't actually lock up last night, then open door, still with half a mouthful of food.

"Gareth?" There's an oldish bloke... late 50s early 60s perhaps. A younger bloke who I assume is his son is standing by the car at the kerb.
"Ymmmmmmmh" I say (still eating).
"2CV Wing?" the bloke asks.
Gulp. That's better. "Ummmm?"
"You are Gareth?"
"Well in that case someone's been using your name and address to sell stuff on eBay."
"Oh Great."

Old bloke calls back to his son to get the details out of the car. I stand there in dressing gown trying to work out why someone would actually do that... what they'd gain from it, etc.

So, let me actually think this through and try and make sense of it. Someone's been advertising stuff in my name, and selling it, and then sending buyers to my house to collect stuff? Odd.

Why would you do that? I mean, why? Really?

Son hands over a couple of printouts to dad, and dad looks at them, then shows me. He points at the name.

"Well, that's not my surname," I say. But looking at the other details on the paper, the location is right. It's my road, my postcode. Strange.

"But you are Gareth?"

"Oh yes," I say. Then I notice the scribbled address at the bottom of the page, and point to it.

Son and dad look. Son turns to dad and says "YOU ABSOLUTE MUPPET!" laughing. He then turns to me and says "I'm really sorry about this."

Right street, right postcode, freakily right first name too, but wrong house number. I can sort of understand how it got confused, but all the same. Freaky. Someone a few doors down is also Gareth.

So, as far as I know, my identity hasn't been stolen, but a very freaky coincidence caused a lot of confusion. I was highly amused. HIGHLY. Some might even call the whole thing "Totes Hilair", but I am not one of those people.


( 2 Bitches — Bitch, Plz )
16th Jul, 2011 20:06 (UTC)
Dude. That's well freaky.
17th Jul, 2011 21:39 (UTC)
That's totally craziness, LOL.
( 2 Bitches — Bitch, Plz )


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